The world has long awaited a complete review of all the cheeses available in Turkey. I feel I have now accomplished this task with my recent expedition to this remarkable country. Although I did not explore the entire country, I think that the places I went to are typical, and you will find this review to be quite thorough.
First up: Processed, Sliced Cheese. Now this on first examination appears to be the same stuff you'd find in a cheeseburger. I made a cheese sandwich out of Turkish bread (which is very nice indeed) and took a large bite. At first it seemed to be quite mild but after a few mouthfuls it seemed to taste spicy. On closer examination the cheese was speckled with tiny red dots. I don't have a clue what it was as the ingredients were written in Turkish, but it wasn't too spicy. It was probably chili. I normally don't like spicy surprises but this wasn't so bad due to the small quantity of this unknown spice. I give this 4 cheeses out of 10.
Next: Patos Peynir. These tasted just like Doritos. My girlfriend Vicky disagreed, but whatever. If you're in Turkey and you're after Doritos but you can only find these; go for it, you won't be disappointed (unless you're Vicky). 6 Cheeses out of 10.
Miscellaneous Sandwich Cheese: I ordered a plain cheese sandwich from the pool bar at my hotel. When I got it, it was so plain it didn't even have butter! (Apparently though, this is the norm, and it is only tourists who use butter). Despite this, the sandwich was pretty tasty, the cheese was sliced quite thick so it didn't seem too dry. It tasted like edam or gouda (and given the fact it was cut in triangle shapes it would appear that the cheese originated from a ball shape). The cheese was about a 3 on the strength table (1 to 5 with 5 being the strongest / most mature flavour). I give this 4 cheeses out of 10.
Patos Crisos Peyner Bugles: We picked these up in a supermarket and ate them when we got back to our hotel. Wow they were tasty! And how the hell do the make them that shape? We found ourselves fighting over the bag like a pair of savages. Quite a mild/salty/corny flavour that just worked. We got all excited when we found another place that sold them on our travels and this time we bought two bags, again we fought over them and I even found myself eating the ones that had dropped on the filthy carpet (which I immediately regretted - very hairy). 9 Cheeses out of 10 - very good.
Fried Feta Cheese: When we first saw this on the menu, my girlfriend got quite excited for me, but I have always been a bit freaked out by Feta as it is normally packed suspended in brine. Nevertheless I ordered it and tried it. The cheese is mixed with a small amount of parsley and rolled in the same stuff that Chinese spring rolls are rolled in. These were very greasy (deep fried, you see) and the cheese was not strong enough for this application (probably a strength 2, when a 3 or 4 was required). A little disappointing; 3 cheeses out of 10.
Goats Cheese: Yes, that's right GOATS CHEESE. We ordered this starter called a Meznir Plate or something, which is to go with the pitta bread. Vicky told me to try the cheese, I took a small slice and ate it. It was only after I swallowed that she told me it was goats cheese, how evil is that? Despite it being the product of a goat's udder, the taste wasn't too bad (although I didn't eat any more that that first bite). Quite strong, maybe a strength 4, very soft and tasted a bit like Cheshire cheese. I give this 1 cheese out of 10 for being so wrong.
Fried Cheese 2: This was from a different restaurant and had a different name, "balo" or something, I forget, (but it was the same thing). It has been cooked for less time so it was less greasy; also they used a stronger cheese (a 3 - 4) and more parsley. Definitely an improvement. 6 cheeses out of 10.
